It’s tricky – if we try to show a human side we may alienate his base.
Jobs, jobs, jobs.
His coffee’s always crap for about a week after the MacArthur genius-grant winners are announced.
Technology is ruining us.
A penthouse on Central Park West . . . not bad for a second-tier private-school kid from a postwar co-op on Riverside Drive, eh?
How come the most ignorant among us are always the loudest?
I’ve been to cities other than New York. They’re cute.
Kazakov is employing the rare ‘Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure’ defense.
Would you care for some fresh-ground pepper and/or a clarinet solo?
We’ve found by applying just the tiniest bit of an electric shock, test scores have soared.
The Great Zeferelli’s chair worked a lot better in controlled conditions.
On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over.
Your slogan should be ‘Rest assured. My wife will do it.’
You knew if we ran attack ads they would run attack ads.
Face it – nothing gets done in an election year.
Oh you, you and your stifling regulations.
Not tonight, honey, but here’s a voucher.
Oh, are you attacking from home today?
I spent all day taking the edge off, but it’s still there.
It has come to my attention that some of you are sleeping on the job.
It’s more than one kid. You better cut the watermelon into pieces.
He gets all his news from us.
You have a lot of boring health issues, so I’m prescribing medical marijuana for myself.
Thumbs up, you enhance your reputation for compassion.Thumbs down, you satisfy your base.
I’m starting to see some real definition in my abs.
Mom says it’s safer.
One blackbird pizza?
We’re spending too much time fetching balls in the park.
True, it’s been revealed that I have a second family, but, I assure you, I am a decent second-family man.
Whoops – sorry. That’s my porn name.
I accept candy or cash – I don’t take stickers.
I don’t like to complain, but he should’ve created some jobs, too.
Although you do make some valid points.
Believe me, your problems are minor compared to A-Rod’s.
Come on! Do you have any idea how long it took to get through the turnstiles?
[New Yorker cartoon captions from issues of October 22 and October 29-November 5, 2012]